February 2022 – Rainy Saturday Creative

Back in the 90s, I fell head over heels in love with the book Cowboys are my Weakness by Pam Houston. Stories of adventurous women whose lives were nothing like my own. Then I read the story A Blizzard Under a Blue Sky. Having suffered depression since grade school, I could relate, except I would happily choose pills over winter camping. Still, I was fascinated with the story and winter camping and it sounded oddly freeing. I would say you couldn’t pay me to go winter camping, but I dream about maybe winter camping in Newport State Park in Wisconsin some day.

I am a summer girl! I hate winter, I hate cold, I hate dark, I hate snow, I hate ice. Once years ago, when I lived on the East side of Milwaukee Wisconsin, I had a horrid headache. I didn’t have any headache pills and I was too broke to buy any. I tried taking a nap and that didn’t help any. That day was a sunny day in Milwaukee, below zero, arctic sea fog hanging over Lake Michigan. I didn’t know what else to do, I was miserable. I went for a walk. I figure I couldn’t be much more miserable than I already was. At first it seemed like a really bad idea. It was sun that affected me first, giving me a sense of peace. The cold gave me a sense of clarity. The arctic sea fog was strongly beautiful. I came home feeling refreshed and no headache!

There have been some recent changes at work that have been more stressful than usual. Then a week ago I had a bad bout of bad food poisoning that left me with a date with the toilet and a lost voice for several days. Yesterday I was feeling dark. I remember a social media I started on a platform called Ello. It never really caught on with my friends, but I chose the name @disappear and posted nature photos of longing. The kind of thing that gives me peace when I feel alone and distant and dark. Since no one really uses Ello, I decided to start that same concept on Instagram, @disappearintonothing.

This morning I was going to go to the gym to do a couple of miles on the treadmill and then go take some photos for my new Instagram account. Then I realized I can just go for a two mile walk, or almost two mile walk, at Lion’s Den Gorge in Ozaukee County Wisconsin. It was less than 10° outside. But it was sunny and no wind. It seemed like a good time to accomplish two tasks at once. But I ended up accomplishing a third task. My spirit felt lifted. I felt calm. I felt renewed.

A note about depression, it is different for everyone. A walk in the cold, eating right, exercising, yoga, meditation, and so forth, are not the answers for everyone. I am on anti depressants. Many do need pills and/or therapy.

I have been on Instagram for almost 11 years using @sunrain which is my personal Instagram account. I am sorry people have found negativity on Instagram. It has always been a place of peace for me. I follow photographers, artists, friends and other creatives. I have four other Instagram accounts.

@gas.stations – I don’t use this one much, but I find gas stations aesthetic.

@rainysaturdaycreative – the Instagram for this blog

@sunrainrunning – My health and fitness Instagram.

@disappearintonothing – photos I take that I feel invoke longing and/or peace. I am atheist, but still consider myself spiritual, and this is what spiritualness is for me.

Sunday night I had a special date with the toilet after eating some rotisserie chicken that wasn’t as good as it looked. The process was full body and left me aching and with hardly any voice. Today, Wednesday. I feel a lot better but can still hardly speak. Yesterday (and part of the day before), I stayed home from work. Problem is yesterday I had a craving.

I really wanted Campbell’s cream of tomato soup and I didn’t have any in the apartment. I don’t live with anyone, none of my friends were close by and delivery would cost too much. I wasn’t in the mood to go out to the store. Then I realized I thought I had all the ingredients to make it. I looked up a bunch of recipes and came up with my own version.

Sunrain’s Cream of Tomato Soup

1 tbsp oil
1 medium onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
6 ounces tomato paste
4 cups vegetable broth
28 ounces canned diced tomatoes
Salt, pepper, onion powder to taste
1 cup whipping cream

Cook onions in the oil. After a couple of minutes add the garlic. When the onions and garlic are fragrant, add the tomato paste. I know that is a lot of tomato paste, but I was working with what I had and it worked out. I also started to add a little vegetable broth so things wouldn’t burn. Maybe 1/4th cup. After 2-3 minutes I added the rest of the vegetable broth. I also added in the seasonings. I probably did 1/4 teaspoon pepper, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and maybe 3 to 4 tablespoons onion powder because that is the kind of girl I am. I then added the diced canned tomatoes.

At this point I blended everything together with an immersion blender. A couple chunks of tomatoes got missed but I was okay with that. I let the soup heat up more and then finished off by slowly stirring in the whipping cream. It made a lot and tasted great! What I didn’t eat right away I put in souper cubes to freeze and eat later.